I wonder how many of you have seen this incipid little message on the towel rail of the your travelodge.

It’s the helpful ‘green’ message regarding the reuse of towels and/or linen in order to save the planet.

There are number of things that strike me most about this message of environmental appeasement, so I’ve created a list.

If this is number 57, what are the other 59 ways to save the world?

How about ;
1. Traveleodge starts using recycled plastic bags in their bins.

2. They stop turning on my damn radiator every time I go out for the day. I neither want the heating on nor understand why anybody would heat an empty room! NOTE: The only time I ever needed to heat the room because it was bitterly cold - the radiator didn’t work. Is THAT the reason to turn them on, to make sure they still work?

3. That Travelodge stop changing the bloody mini soap bar EVERY SINGLE DAY! It got to the point where I’ve even tried leaving a note asking for a new block not to be replaced when the previous days block is perfectly useable. But the cleaner failed to READ the note and I ended up with a friendly “OK” and three extra bars. What did she think I was doing with them? Eating them!?

Apart from the obvious total waste of soap, these things come in plastic bags. Doesn’t anybody do soap in paper these days?

4. Why the hell are the kettles in hotel rooms so massive these days. Used to be that your average kettle would make a couple of cups at a go. Which, when you think about it, was perfectly fine as most rooms only allowed two people in it. But in my last room (Travelodge - Towcester) the kettle was so massive that I could have brewed up for the entire sodding hotel, in one go! I’m not joking, this thing was a huge domestic job.

My point being that while it is true that most modern kettles are designed to be (slightly) more efficient. The fact that they are geared to heating four times the amount of water means they burn through electricity faster.

5. Turn the bloody power off on the TV. It’s not rocket science and if the room is going to be empty (frequently the case over winter) why not. I’m sure that even the most dopey of people will be able to work out how to turn a plug socket on (you would hope).

6. What’s with all the light! Ever single Travelodge I’ve ever been in is lit up like the forth of July. I’m sure there must be better ways to manage the lighting in common areas than have the power blaze away all night.

7. Stop with the automatic upgrades and check before you replace. Marstone Moretaine was a pretty unused little Travelodge just South of Newport Pagnell and while the decor did have something a little mid-90’s about it; it was perfectly clean and perfectly serviceable. The carpets where actually pretty comfy wool jobs.

But some muppet at head office decided that it wasn’t in keeping with the new Travelodge colour palette and as a result the entire hotel had it’s clean carpet ripped out and replaced by some tragic blue stuff with the electrostatic properties of a Van der Graaf Generator! Now the reception is beset with complaints of static shocks and the likelihood is that one day there will be a coming together of loose fuel vapour from the local petrol station and spark and the whole place will go up like a Michael Bay movie.

Tags: travelodge, green, environment, 60, 57, linen, towels