Had a little preview of Sundays up and coming Lost. I always try and get a view BEFORE the event just to make sure the kids can watch it. So far, it's been such a well written piece of work that it's been fine.

What has surprised me is the current speculation about the (very) brief view of Jacob, mysterious leader of 'The Others'.



Anyway, here's a quick screen grab of him. He's an odd looking chap isn't he... is that a really old mid-18th century outfit he's wearing. After all, everybody on the island appears to not get any older (apart from Ben).

Speculate away!

All TV cops must.......

Be especially unique

Maybe they like classical music and drive a 30 year old car.
Perhaps they have a photographic memory and an interesting marriage history.
They might be blind, need a wheelchair or be more than a little overweight.

But category one of our TV Cops checklist has to be that the main character stands out against his peers. Otherwise, how would you realise he's a lead character... right?

Should he/she have a partner, they are opposites in personality

Let's check this out.
Riggs is nuts, Murtaugh is older and sensible (Lethal Weapon Series)
Morse is smart and Lewis isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer (Inspector Morse)
Dalziel is a tough talking Yorkshireman while Pascoe is educated and soft spoken (Dalziel and Pascoe)
Starsky is a risk taker while Hutch is more relaxed and thoughtful. (Starsky and Hutch)

The list goes on and on...

Why? Well, because it makes the show interesting, obviously. But mainly because it gives the viewer a contrast that's easier to write for. After all, if they were closer in personality (as is usually the case with partners) they would have to be better writers.

Their boss is ALWAYS against them

Starsky and Hutch have a shouting Captain called Doby
Inspector Frost gets something of a frosty reception from his Superintendent Mullett (A Touch of Frost)
Cagney and Lacey have to put up with the "nice on the inside nasty on the out" Lt Samuels (Cagney and Lacey)

No matter what the case. There's always a time limit!

There's 24 hours before your partner dies of a mysterious yet entirely chronologically predictable virus.
The chief grants you 48 hours to turn the case around or your 'ass is on the line'.

I could go on... I can't be bothered

Cops are ALWAYS good shots

Whether its a shoot out across a car park or a sudden draw and fire scenario, cops are always the best on the gun. Including out gunning ex-army snipers (who had subsequently gone nuts) or out assassinating a 'top assassin'.

Also, while on that subject... Cop bullets never come out the other side and hit anybody else. It's VERY, VERY rare for a show to highlight the dangers of hitting somebody in the background and if it does, it's a major plot point.

Oh... and repeated shooting of a pistol NEVER causes the accuracy to be compromised. Every shot (even when shot from the hip with your 'weak hand') is in a tight cluster.

Bend the rules, but that's OK

You know the scenes. They break into suspects houses on a whim. They trick the suspect into a confession. They state that co-criminals have landed the others in it, so why not spill the beans.

None of which are going to sound terrible impressive in court. In fact, they wouldn't be viewed in anything but a negative light. But hey, this is television.

Unlimited resources

Teenager steals old ladies bags, put a twenty cop team on the case 24/7. Need to hand over twenty million in a bust deal... it's in a filling cabinet.

Need a car to look posh, new outfit.. false moustache. It's all there, available on short notice and best of all... at no cost.

Reality is that police work is a balancing act between costs and effect.

Oh... XYZ... didn't he ABC

Just tell me this one thing. Why is it that every cop in a TV show seems to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the entire criminal network within a 100 mile range?

Some body turns up and sure enough lead cop knows its Jimmy Hatmaker who used to sell pencils with broken lead out of subway. Or they burst in on a couple of crims and the lead cop says "Oh Eric. Your in hot water now".

It's totally ridiculous.

And if you don't know who that is....

And for those moments where the lead couldn't possibly know the perpetrator / victim. The sidekick is there for a quick profile.

Any of these ring a bell? Insert your name at XXXX.

"What, XXXX the multi-millionaire?"

"What? {company name} XXXX?"

"XXXX, you know the {insert 30 second biography here}"

Police/normal car? Not for me

Now... I can understand why Miami Vice officers use expensive motors; it's part of their undercover image.

But how does

• Nash Bridges get away with driving a 72' Cuda?


• Inspector Frost drive a 20 year old Ford Sierra (very naff)


• Inspector Morse drive a 1960's Mark Two Jaguar


• Detective Sergeant Bergerac drive a 1940's Triumph!


• Starsky drive a Ford Gran Torino (and more over WHY would he)?

I mean why are these people allowed to drive their OWN cars anyway!!

Never going to have a happy marriage

With the exception of just TWO police shows in the UK I cannot remember a single cop show where the main characters didn't have relationship issues.

The two exceptions are "Inspector Wexford" whose wife Sheila has her own life, loves Reg and just gets on with it. Ditto for "Midsummer Murders" whose Tom Barnaby has a loving and patient wife in Joyce.

Now name another five? No... me neither. Not even Mary Beth Lacey had a perfect marriage. Didn't she have a fling with somebody at work? Poor Harvey....

With only minor exceptions.... ALWAYS WIN

The success rate of actual police forces around the world is a statistic that would make quite a few people blanch. Murder rate clear up vary but never get close to being better than 80%. Which means out of every ten murders at BEST two people get away with it. But not on TV. Murder clear up rate on TV must be ranking around 99%. So in my mind, TV cops should be put 'on the beat'.

Never seen a form...

I'm told by those in the know that over half of all police work these days is either on the computer or at a desk on forms. Reports have to be filled, suspects have to be tracked down, details HAVE to checked.

But clearly, somebody else does this on TV because our main heroes tend to spend most of their day bombing around in cars (of all types) and asking lots of very direct questions; with little or no background.

Never get lost

Now local police officers know the area they work. Detectives (in the UK) get around using A to Z maps or now they use GPS Navigation.

But on TV, cops have an internal 'knowledge' of the city / state / county they work down to street level. Even if its a dirt track! They also know the roads like the back of their hands, as many a high speed chase will testify.

Never home

Cops actually work a rigid system of shifts. This is because a tired cop (especially if they are armed) is a dangerous cop. This is reason for reports etc. They hand over details to the next shift. Only in extremely unusual circumstances do police officers work outside these periods. Perhaps a officer is ill and needs cover, or there is a MAJOR incident and all the service is committed.

Not on TV. No.. Morse / Frost / Bridges... they are the only officers in the place!

Conclusion

So... there's you kick off list for a TV cop show. Next time you see one on TV, see how it matches against the list. Why not score them and add to my comments.

Google success has been a tremendous.

Google is now a cultural icon to the point where in just ten years after it's launch nobody "looks up", "searches for" or "check on Yahoo or Excite"...

No, today they "Google" it.

Google, in the UK at least, seemed to come out of the gates and become the single most dominant search engine on the planet.

But is this is good thing?

Sure Google offer a huge amount of excellent free software and services for us to ow and ah at. They give us;

• Google Earth / Maps


• GMail


• YouTube


• Blogger


• Google Docs and Spreadsheet


• Calendar


• Picasa

Some are good, some are great. All are free. Which is just as well, because there main product "Google Search" actually leaves a lot to be desired.

I'll pause and let the shouting die down. Because I'm armed with facts.

Now correct me if I'm wrong. But the main purpose of a search engine is to provide results that best match the search criteria you provide. But Google's interpretation of this is that a successful match is one that has many links to it and that also matches the criteria. In that order.

It's that skewing that is my main problem with Google.

So lets say your looking for the mystery and controvesy regarding the death of famous actress Jayne Mansfield. You would enter the following into your search engine

Google query test

How did Jayne Mansfield die?

Now you would expect from a search engine to return results that contain pages that pose (and presumably answer) that exact same question. You would expect Google to do so. But it doesn't. In fact what it actually returns as the following list of links.

They appear IN order and without alteration. The search was ran 10:13 GMT 9th May 2007.

My take on the results are in red.

Jayne Mansfield
Yes, those are actual pieces of the upholstery from the Jayne Mansfield death car. Could you die? She did. HRR. Ed donated those pictures in memory of his ... www.findadeath.com/Deceased/ m/Mansfield/jayne_mansfield.htm - 31k

A good match. 8/10

Jayne Mansfield - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jayne's husband at the time, Paul Mansfield, hoped the birth of their child would discourage her interest in acting. When it did not he agreed to move to ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jayne_Mansfield - 106k

Another good match. Maybe Google IS good. 10/10

Jayne Mansfield - Internet Accuracy Project
Is Jayne Mansfield dead or alive? How and when did she die? You'll find the answers to those questions and more in the bio above. ...
www.accuracyproject.org/cbe-Mansfield,Jayne.html - 26k

It's not such a great match. The details are actually pretty low. But its quick reference. 7/10

Yahoo! Answers - Did Jayne Mansfield die right after the car ...
1 answer - Yahoo! Answers - Did Jayne Mansfield die right after the car accident or did she die at the hospital?
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006050922639 - 41k

Actually quick a poor result. It's a forum and contains next to no details. In otherwords, this isn't a useful reference. 5/10

Salon.com People | Scams and lies
It was, warned AP, Jayne Mansfield's head. Another photo was of her body, ... You're relying on superficialities as much as you allege Mansfield did. ...
archive.salon.com/people/ letters/2001/08/10/scams/print.html

This site actually isn't about Jayne Mansfield at all. It's a site about internet scams and lies. 3/10

The Angry Young Man: Jayne Mansfield
You know, I don't think I've ever actually seen a Jayne Mansfield movie. ... The Angel of Death did not afford Mansfield this luxury: Her skull was cracked ...
www.theangryyoungman.com/2006/08/jayne_mansfield.html - 12

This site is actually more of a blog posting and actually contains the erroneous fact that she was decapitated. 1/10

Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, and now also Anna Nicole Smith ...
Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, and now also Anna Nicole Smith! ... Cause we simply did not care. We let these beautiful women die, without even trying to ... www.pr-inside.com/ marilyn-monroe-jayne-mansfield-and-r49884.htm - 21

This story is actually about Anna Nicole Smith and contains only a couple of sentences about Jayne Mansfield. But it DOES have a lot of Google Ads on the page. If you get what I'm saying. 0/10

Helsingin kaupunginkirjasto - Sanojen Aika - Authors
But they did see Jayne Mansfield, the whole family. Jayne Mansfield was on a PR tour and sat ... She was to die just like President Kennedy, not murdered,

Doesn't actually have ANY facts about her death. It's actually a blog posting from an author who in fact gets the details totally wrong. But hey, she must have lots of links to her. 0/10

- Everything you know is a lie
How did Jayne Mansfield die? Jayne Mansfield was killed in a car accident by decapitation Can (Fizz Wizz) Space Dust (Pop Rocks) and Cola be fatal? ...
www.everythingyouknowisalie.co.uk/content/all.aspx - 18k

Could it be that our question is actually answered. Look, the ACTUAL question we asked. 9 in the list! But because Google cannot navigate querystring requests I have to find the item in the list. Actual item contains details of her death and explanation of myth. Note Google ads for 'Wills'. Spooky. 10/10 (for content)

How Did Marilyn Monroe Die?
Brief and Straightforward Guide: How Did Marilyn Monroe Die? ... Who is Jayne Mansfield? Who is Andy Warhol? Who is Marilyn Monroe? What are Stilettos? ...www.wisegeek.com/how-did-marilyn-monroe-die.htm - 18k

Marilyn Monroe!?! I said JAYNE MANSFIELD!?! 0/10

Google Match Results

3 useful
1 mentioning Jayne Mansfield
6 NOT related to Jayne Mansfield's death

So in the top ten results for the search only three gave actually useful results. One contained some details. The rest were ever not related to Jayne Mansfield's death or had absolutely nothing to do with it. So that's a 33% hit rate.

Comparison to another search engine

Sooooo. How do the others fair?

Ask.com - I picked this at random, mainly because an ad for them has just been on tv.

Jayne Mansfield
Yes, those are actual pieces of the upholstery from the Jayne Mansfield death car. Could you die? She did. HRR. Ed donated those pictures in ...
www.findadeath.com/Decesed/m/Mansfield/jayne_mansfield.htm

Yes, it's that site again. But at least its accurate 8/10

Official Jayne Mansfield Web Site
News Purchase "The Jayne Mansfield Collection" on DVD 08-15-2006 20th Century Fox has released a ... set that includes three of Jayne ...
www.jaynemansfield.com/ www.jaynemansfield.com/ · Cached · Save

It's the official Jayne Mansfield website. Can you believe that Google didn't find this!? 10/10

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Movies (Jayne Mansfield)
Did the automobile crash that killed Jayne Mansfield also decapitate her? ... Claim: The car crash that killed Jayne Mansfield also ...
www.snopes.com/movies/actors/jayne.htm

Correct version of events and very useful. 10/10

New Orleans Radio Shrine - The Night Jayne Mansfield Died
Jayne Mansfield's movie career hit the skids shortly after the movie "The Girl Can't Help It" in, I ... that Jayne Mansfield was topless in ...
www.walkerpub.com/radio_jaynemansfield.html

Has the full story, and it's all accurate. 10/10

How about the future of the capitalism?
How did Jayne Mansfield die? How did Jerry Garcia die? How did Jiggs become a millionaire in the comic strip? How did John Steinback die?
www.isi.edu/natural-language/projects/webclopedia/Taxonomy-data/h...

Well, no idea what this is. 0/10

Jayne Mansfield
Jayne Mansfield on IMDb: Movies, TV, Celebs, and more... ... Jayne Mansfield burst on the Hollywood scene like a rocket in 1955. One...
us.imdb.com/Name?Mansfield,+Jayne

It's the Jayne Mansfield story, staring Arnold S. But not details of her death. Although it is mention in the right ups. 5/10

Jayne Mansfield - Wikipedia
Jayne Mansfield (19 avril 1933 – 29 juillet 1967) née Vera Jane Palmer fut une actrice américaine et ...
fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jayne_Mansfield

Wikipedia, all fine and good. 10/10

Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, The (2001): Reviews
Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, The Two Boots Den of Cin ... Starring Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, and Robert Jason (narrator) ...
www.metacritic.com/video/titles/jaynemansfield

It's a review of a documentary. It does mention the death, but no details 3/10

Numismatics, Nyassa, Oceania, Ocean Views & Off-the-Wall Postcards & ...
"BIGGER THAN LIFE / DeathÔ / Is Jayne Mansfield / Really Dead" Serie 10 Die Leidenschaften des Rosa von Praunheim, unused continental, trivial ...
www.judnick.com/NumismaticsToOff-The-Wall.htm

It's a list of books. One of which is about Jayne Mansfield 1/10

Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Jayne Mansfield Story (1980) (TV) .... Mickey Hargitay ... alternativ: Jayne Mansfield: A Symbol of the 50's ...
german.imdb.com/Name?Schwarzenegger,+Arnold

We've seen this before. It's that film again! But in this case, not a direct link. 3/10

So, Ask.com has managed to get five very good hits, three close but no cigars and two complete no-hopers.

Conclusion

So is Google big. Yes
Is Google accurate. Definately Not.
Is Google a useful research tool? No.
Is Google good a finding odd sites. Yes.

If your a researcher or a student or somebody who prefers speed and accuracy over advertising sponsored is your thing, look elsewhere.

Otherwise Google is super

You see, you have to realise that Google is above everything else, an advertising company. Anybody who has seen the charges they levy for click advertising is not going to be surprised about this.

But that's another blog post....