So, to end July on something of a high note, I wanted to highlight something that certainly caused me to chortle more than a little.

The ‘all things electronic’ website MyMemory offers the following description of its entry level Celestron Firstscope 76Telescope.

“FirstScope is an ideal entry level astronomical telescope. It is very easy to observe with, the user simply navigates the night sky by moving the tube in the direction of their desired object, making the viewing experience a snap!”

So... you POINT the telescope in the direction of what you want to look at it. And it makes it bigger.

Got it?

Is that clear enough for everybody?

What is this? Astronomy for idiots!?

I mean have they had complaints from purchasers to the effect that the whole sky hasn’t become magnified, despite taking the telescope outside in the box?

Tags: Telescope, stupid, instructions

I had the immense please of being able to talk to an eminent scientist over the weekend. Now what the person had to say was fascinating and whilst that person was happy for me to blog it; that person didn’t want to be identified. Why? Well, because that person had serious concerns that doing so would affect Government funding over the following years.

I think what it was encouraging to hear was that the “scientific method” was alive, well and living (if in hiding) in the modern University.

For a giggle we looked at the Carbon Trust website, at it’s opening gambit.

The basic mechanics of climate change are well understood (1); the world is warming (2), much of the warming is due to human emissions of greenhouse gases (3), and the changes are set to accelerate in the future (4), bringing many and varied impacts around the world. (5)

1. The mechanics of climate change are NOT well understood. You want an example; how accurate are weather predictions for the next two weeks? 100% accurate? Less? Usually, less than 33% accurate. Which doesn’t bode well considering this is the science behind out ‘understanding’ of climate change.
2. As it has been doing for the last 50,000-100,000 years in fact. Not much of a surprise, as we are seeing the end of an ice age.
3. Not proven, this is only a theory. Plus, just how much IS “much”? I mean that’s a pretty vague statement for a document that pro-ports to be the de-facto truth on the matter.
4. Unproved and highly speculative at best, and absolutely outrageous and politically motivated statement of rhetoric at worse. So far, extreme weather changes have failed to meet computer generated models. But as these are based around “trend analysis” that’s not much of a surprise.
5. Well, ANY change will bring about an “impact”. But whether or not this is a good or bad impact has yet to be calculated. For example, the Sahara desert is in retreat due to the increase of water vapour coming from the Atlantic and Mediterranean sea. Once again Egypt could be a highly fertile land... the same could be said for other such areas.

The “FACT” is that there are NO FACTS. All the current estimations, models are estimates are just that... guesses. In some cases highly educated guesses; but no matter how you try and sell a model of something; it’s only a model. It is NOT fact.

Should we stop pumping TOXIC gases (sulphur dioxide etc) into the atmosphere? Damn right we should. But that makes more sense to me that worrying about the POSSIBLE effects of a THEORY based upon an ASSUMPTION that flies to the contrary of previous climatic events.

To me, CO2 looks more like taxation and control that any real measure of protecting the environment.

Oh... and just so we are clear on what makes up our atmosphere.

According to NASA, our atmosphere is made up of;

• 78.085% Nitrogen
• 20.946% Oxygen
• 0.9340% Argon
• 0.0383% Carbon Dioxide
• etc etc

0.0383% Carbon Dioxide is NOT a typo, that’s how little CO2 there is in our atmosphere.

Now I heard speculation on some HALF ARSED science program that we can see a perfect example of a greenhouse gas planet in action by looking at Venus.

Now excusing the fact that Venus is considerably closer to the sun, its atmosphere is made up of;

• 96.5% Carbon Dioxide
• 3.5% Nitrogen
• Then some Sulfur Dioxide, Argon, Water vapour, carbon monoxide... all in the parts per million level.

So for Earth to turn into a run away greenhouse effect, are we saying that nearly all the nitrogen, all the oxygen and all the Argon would need to convert to carbon dioxide. Like we’d be bothered about the temperature at this point!

So of the sources of this 0.0383%

• 57% Surface Ocean (Natural)
• 38% Respiration (Natural)
• 5% Fossil fuels / Cement / Deforestation / Changing Land Use

So MANS effect on Carbon Dioxide is 5% of the 0.0383% total.

Incidentally, so you don’t plan on holding your breath... the following a carbon sinks;

• 60% Ocean absorption
• 40% Photosynthesis

Of course... water vapour is a considerably more worrying greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide would ever be. But human activity doesn’t really cause much of that... so it can’t be taxed

Tags: carbon trust, carbon dioxide, carbon, climate, sources, natural, man made

I guess this post is really two pronged.

The first regards a conversation I had with some people at the organisation I’m helping out at present. The second is prompted by this BBC news article.



Essentially it all boils down to the same thing.

NOBODY HAS HEARD OF NIKOLA TESLA!

In case you’ve not, I think this video really says all I could and more.



But in case you’re not aware of Tesla and don’t have the time; he’s the inventor of;

• AC Current electricity
• Neon lighting
• Robotics
• The logical “AND” gate
• Bladeless turbines
• Remote control (via radio)
• And of course the Tesla coil

Not to mention about 700 further inventions he held the patents for. This is a man with a prolific mind and somebody we should revere both in the scientific community and the general public.

But he has been lost to the likes of Thomas Edison; a man credited falsely with the invention of the light bulb. Edison neither first invented the “electric light bulb” nor the carbon filament vacuum electric light bulb. But for a decent write up on the incandescent light bulb, wikipedia currently holds a useful breakdown.

The variation of the electric light bulb Edison is attributed to inventing was in fact created by Joseph Wilson Swan (carbon fibre filament) in 1878. Swan sued Edison in Britain for patent infringement and won the case; creating the company Ediswan. But the fact remains that many other people both prior to that time and after can lay claim to the continuing improvements in the technology.

Nobody can make such a claim with regards Neon. It has just one inventor.

Tags: Tesla, Nikola Tesla, Wireless power, radio, neon, ac current

We were talking at work about the empowerment of gay characters since Russell T. Davis brought “Captain Jack Harkness” to the screen. Initially via Doctor Who and then as the (initially at least) adult Torchwood spin off.

Jack is a gay character that strangely I think we can all recognise. OK, I’m not really talking about the dynamic actions and useful immortality. What I’m actually saying that for once, in a long while, there was a gay character in a popular TV show that isn’t some kind of inane, picture postcard camp characteur of a gay man. No “Oh; listen to her!” (except as a joke), no amusing walk and definitely no pink costumes. He’s the anti-Mr Humfries (from Are you being served). An action hero who just so happens to also be gay, but also happens to be immortal, from the future, several hundred years old and totally over played by smiling, singing entertainer John Barrowman.

It started me thinking... is Jack Harkness the first heroic gay character in television. And then it him me! Not literally, obviously. Freddie from Scooby Doo.

It’s so obvious. This is a chap who ignores the attractive female members of the ‘team’. Never seems terribly interested in girls, dresses immaculately, never has a hair out of place and wears a neckerchief. Plus, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t he wearing something similar to a sailor outfit?

So R.T.D.... Hannah Barbara beat you but 30 years+

he he he

Tags: torchwood, scooby doo, freddy, freddie, gay

It’s only once in a while that I’m actually impressed by something on the net these days.

A good example of something that has really stood out for me has been the property search engine Globrix.
It is one of the most deceptively powerful little tools out there.

But don’t let the Google like simplicity of the front page fool you. Once you’ve provided it with a rough area to search, by which I mean you can enter “England”, “Scotland”, “Wales”, “Ireland” or ever “Isle of Man”, select whether you wish to look to rent or buy and click search.

But the real power of this system is found on page two, the detail screen.

To say that the filter system allows you to drill down like never before would be something of an understatement.

But lets look at the comparison site just to highlight the advantages.

On RightMove you are able to search at County level and no further and your primary filters are;

• Price range
• Property type (Houses, Flats/Apartments etc)
• Number of bedrooms min to max
• Price range min to max
• When it was added
• Retirement properties (yes or no essentially)
• Shared Ownership (shared or not)

And I’m afraid to say, that is it.



However, the Globrix filter screen is something else.

Clicking the “Keywords” section brings up a list of all the key phrases or single words that have been extracted from the listings.

So for example, from the selection above we can see that there are

• 54 properties with their own bunker.
• 2368 properties that have a cellar.
• 504 are three storey
• 29 have caravan parking
• 23 have their own croquet lawn
• 11 are ecohouses

Best of all are those desirable features we all dream about but have no other way of finding out.

So lets say you’re looking for a 4 bedroom house in Lancashire for under £350,000 that has its own swimming pool.

Turns out, there are three. All come with links directly to the estate agent in question and all match the requirements.

Incidentally, there’s a house in Rossendale with it’s own recording studio.

Best of all was a search I did for houses with their own “home cinema”.

Now in my mind, I picture a small room with a big TV and a sofa. Somewhere dedicated to watching the box. However... not everybody has the same idea in mind. In fact some people are a more enterprising when it comes to “Home Cinema” and some people are quite literal about it.

Case in point, this house in Bradford, West Yorkshire.
It is a seven bedroom property spread over three floors. It’s a terrace house, but looks to be in quite a leafy part of town. In fact, it looks like a very well looked after property.

But it does have a feature that no filmophile could do without.

Its very own sixteen-seater cinema.



I mean, seriously... this is more than a step beyond a few big chairs in a room. They actually appear to be genuine cinema seats.

At which point, is there an intermission in the middle, like in the old days, where a lady would sell ice cream?

Property details for the Bradford mini-cinema and house can be found on the Halifax Property website.

Tags: house, realty, estate agent, property, property search, search

Air travel has a dirty little secret... and it’s a secret they’d rather you didn’t know about or work out for yourself.

But before we get into that, lets have a little trip down memory lane. Do you remember the late 80’s? Duran Duran, Teardrop Explodes, Ferris Beulla and smoking on airplanes.

Yes, take any flight in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s and you’d have the option of having a smoking or non-smoking seat to sit in. Not that the smoke would know any better... but lets get into that in a moment.

Now, you’d imagine that smoking would in itself provide a major fire hazard. But I did a little research and could not find a single air disaster that was caused by a loose cigarette. NOT A SINGLE ONE.

Which might come as a big surprise to anybody who has take a flight recently and have not only seen that many warning signs around the cabin, but also the additional information in the pre-flight safety feature; smoking causes fire... and fire causes disasters. It’s a fairly simple message which is usually a strong indicator that it’s a lie.

I’m sorry to say that the real reason smoking has been banned is right down to costs. By not having the ingress, compress and process fresh air from the outside; airlines are saving a small fortune of fuel. Essentially, putting fresh air into the cabin uses energy, which requires more fuel to be burned. This fuel is saved by recycling the air fewer. In fact, on flights less than 2 hours, it is unlikely that ANY fresh air is brought into the aircraft for passengers. Which means the air you’re breathing has already been breather by a significant number of your fellow passengers and has lower oxygen content.

Which brings us back to the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s which had another magical feature to flights. No deep vein thrombosis, none.

Now you might imagine this is a result of changing diets, passengers being fitter ten years ago or many other factors.

But here is the truth, as detailed in the Lancent.

It is poor air quality in planes that is causing deep vein thrombosis during flights and not lethargy or poor health. Their studies placed individuals on the ground under similar circumstances and compared them to people in flight and the results were both shocking and conclusive.

So where do we stand on this? Are airlines trying to balance aircraft safety against potential health risks?

No. They are not. At some point, the airline has run the following calculation. It’s a calculation that has been exposed a number of times, most famously with GM.

(a) Cost of Savings * Flights

versus

(b) Number of deaths * potential pay outs due to culpability

If (a) is greater than (b), then they will continue to run with poor air quality and individuals will continue to die.

Look, to be blunt. The airlines don’t give a crap about you. If you die, tough. You’ve already paid. You’ll just be another little statistic on their bean counting chart.

What can we do?

But lets not wait until another perfectly health individual drops dead because of ‘unknown’ factors. All of which are known to all the major airlines.

Instead, lets introduce (c)

(c) Cost of lost revenue due to bad press

Write to your local MP and demand better air quality on planes. After all, if this was a workplace, the health and safety executive would no doubt have something to say about it!

Tags: air travel, dvt, deep vein thrombosis, poor air quality, british airways, virgin, continental, US Airways

Four things from the 1970’s to bring back

1. Headboards with built in radios

About six months ago I stayed in a hotel that had decor that could only have come from the 1970s. The reception was flanked by a gigantic, apparently wool based, wall mural of the hotel and surrounding area. This huge monolith had sadly faded a lot since it was put up, but it really reminded me of that communist era propaganda wall paintings you used to see in East Germany before Wulfgang got carried away with the magnolia and they were lost to time.

One of the key colours in the mural was orange (originating from a Sun) and this was the theme continued in the rooms.

Each room had a lovely faded (after thirty years) orange hue to it, with matching carpets, curtains, door handles, desk and feature wall.

Best of all, the headboard... in mock wood, contained a shiny faced radio / intercom system. Sadly long since defunct (I even tried it).

I distinctly remember these from my childhood where we would stay away and I’d listen to the radio while falling asleep. I also staying in a hotel in Blackpool, when I was left in my room aged 7 with the intercom system being used as a baby/child monitor.

Ever so often the receptionist would dial up my room and ask if everything was OK. I remember saying that I didn’t have a blue crayon and the lady on reception sent one up with a waiter who happened to be passing my room. For several days I actually thought that he’d made a special trip.

I guess the radios became obsolete due to the adoption and migration of radio from AM to MW and then later from MW to FM channels. I guess they are as obsolete as car radios will be in about 5 years time when the Government makes commercial channels switch from FM to DAB, a move that’s far from universally welcome.

2.Swing ball

Although swing ball never really went away as a stalwart for visual comedy, the number of homes armed with this simple to setup and play game has dwindled to almost zero.

Perhaps it’s because of the 90’s craze for decking every bloody square inch of your garden... or the shift towards more urban (no grass) living. I can’t really say, but Swing ball was a big hit in the 70’s and I think everybody I knew had a set (if not two).

TIP:For extra points, trying smacking the ball upwards to hit your opponent on the head.

3. Cars that don’t look like every other car

Remember that 70’s? That was the decade that spawned the Austin Allegro, Leyland Princess, Ford Capri and the Talbot Sunbeam. Each had two things in common;

• They looked more original than anything else about at the time.
• They were all, to a greater or lesser degree, rubbish.

4. The ‘exotic’ Bond movie

I guess this is more of sign of the times and the relative cheapness of travel these days. That and the need for Bond to compete on a like-for-like basis with the Bourne franchise.

But in the 1970’s, Bond was all about finesse and exotic locations. The unobtainable (to 99% of the planet) and the corruption that goes with it. Lets face it, Scaramanga’s island might have been very cool, but look what he had to do to get it. Bond was a toff with a conscience with Roger Moore at the helm.

I know they generally only resemble the books in name only, but they are a product of their time.

Casino Royale’s ‘exotic’ location in the Caribbean resembled a Sandels resort!

Tags: 70's, 1970s

From the BBC Friday Night Comedy Podcast : Now Show

Medvedev, a world leader with his own advertising slogan -“Does exactly what he’s told by Pu-tin”

(For those not in the know, “Ronseal” paint products are sold with the slogan that they “Do exactly what they say on the tin&rdquo

Tags: pun, The Now Show, Radio 4

There must be something about direct sunlight that affects other people more than others.

Witness the following individual who perhaps might want to consider the effects of all that sunlight on his rather pail (but now lobster coloured) flesh.

Not to mention the idea that we might all think he’s looking fantastic!

For some reason he seemed to sit there with his arms tensed as though to show off this (ample?) physique.

It really didn’t need the help.

Most of it was hanging over his dainty shorts that sadly didn’t have the full coverage at the rear that anybody sat behind him might want.

As look would have it, lens flare has hidden what I would have otherwise had to blur out.

THE HORROR!!

Tags: sun, bare chested

You know, if there is one thing that really gets on my pip is lousy driving.

I’m not talking about the sort of person who fails to notice you and swerves at the last second, although that’s inexcusable. I’m talking about the sort of person who does something very stupid and then looks smug.

Like the driver of post office van WP53 GNZ.

Postman Prat here decided that waiting in a queue of TWO CARS was a bit much for him. So prior to this photograph he indicated left at a T-Junction then swerved right into the car in front of me. Who beeped their horn at him, only for him to mouth “Fuck you” at them.

So, glad our money is being well spent then.

As you can plainly see, he’s unable to operate his indicators at this next junction. He eventually turned left, causing a vehicle from the left to have to brake severely to slow down. Nice one dick head.

Tags: bad, postman, driving, bad driving

Well, it had to happen...

So I was sat in a queue of traffic at a round-about, some twenty cars from the front when I noticed a bright light in my mirror. I just managed to glance up to see a speeding Land Rover Discovery (complete with bull bars) driving towards the back of my car with the young lady engaged in both a text and a conversation with her friend.

Sadly... that was the driver.

The resulting 20 mph crash fairly well pranged up the back of my Saab. But I suffered NO whiplash injuries, which really impressed me.

More impressive was the news that the Land Rover was written off! So severe was the damage to its front end.

So whilst I’m sorry for the young lady who hit him (she was really very upset) I’m kind of happy that yet another gas guzzling tonka toy is off the road. Incidentally, the price for the parts required to fix my car came to over TWO THOUSAND POUNDS! Equating to little more than a new bumper, sensors, boot and lights. I can’t imagine the cars worth much over double that... so it must have been pretty touch and go for my car getting the boot!

Sadly that Ferrari will just have to stay in the show room (JOKE!).

Tags: saab, crash, Rear-ended

I always love it when a well engineered plan backfires. On the BBC news website and article pocking fun at the home made conspiracy documentary “7/7 Ripple Effect” has met with almost universal support.... FOR the film that is.

I’ve not actually seen the film (yet) but apparently it highlights the many flawed aspects of the investigation and brings to light issues (errors or otherwise) with the official timeline of the attacks.

The BBC article goes on to point out that Muad Dib believes himself to be a Messiah, and George Lucas was told what to write in Star Wars by the very force he describes within it. To be honest, I’m not sure the point the BBC is trying to make here. That he’s a poor witness to history or that his assertions; no matter how potentially accurate, are false because he’s in other ways deluded. For example, Tony Blair believed a bright light of spirituality shone out of his very being every morning... and if that isn’t a good excuse for being sectioned, I don’t know what is.

Tags: bbc, 7/7, conspiracy files, conspiracy