FOR A PICTURE!!!!!!
20/05/08 20:44 Filed in: Personal
Let me begin.....
About three months ago I had some work done on my Saab at Stratstone Saab. It's one of those jobs that only a Saab dealer can do (a rather expensive £500 'glitch') but as part of my complementary Stratstone gift park (for presumably keeping the dealer open for that month) there came a little black envelope into which a free photo-session at Venture was included.
Now, right out of the gate I want to point out that I thought this was a complete scam. But despite all my best moaning and protestations 'the Mrs' took the kids anyway.
In less than an hour they had all returned, with 'the Mrs' showing a somewhat paler complexion than she left with.
Now Venture is a nation-wide chain of studios specialising in extracting large amounts of cash out of people with little or no sense. Sorry, but there it is. No I've always subscribed to the idea that stupid people and money were already showing unlikely signs of getting together in the first place. But there's a whole nation of people with iPhones to prove me wrong. Just to digress... it's a 2 MP camera phone that can't take video and you can't install 3rd apps (yet) onto; it costs a fortune to buy and the monthly tariffs are ridiculous (in the UK)... sounds perfect. Perhaps version 2, due in June, might be better. In the first instance, thanks stupid people for paying the way for a better phone.
Back to Venture. Now. After your complimentary 30 minute session you are gifted a free photograph. As in single. I presume it is protected in some way to stop duplication. Perhaps a Venture watermark or such. But should you wish a second 5" x 7" picture. It's yours for just £75 ($150). Not a misprint. SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS. For a 5x7 picture. Hell, even Kodak is cheaper. But the price range gets better and better 10x8 is £150 ($300).
Perhaps you might like something a bit more like a proper picture, framed. The VERY least you can pay is £325 ($650) for a 5x7 in a very cheap looking pine frame.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE PRICES!!!
Want to go the whole hog. They sell a composite picture, printed on canvas, made up of three 29" x 29" squares for... wait for it... hold breath. £2,900 ($5,800). Just short of THREE THOUSAND POUNDS!!! You could get a car for that! Nice little run around... Hell, you could probably get David Bailey for the piggin' day for that!
My particular favourite is the book of ten photo-book with 5"x4" pictures in it. Yours for the bargain price of £1,050 ($2,100). Or for another £100, why not 15 pictures.
Now quite aside from the fact that the quality could be questioned. Who the hell buys a picture like that. I mean it is beyond conspicuous consumption and enters into insanity. Like I say, the foolish and money were lucky to get together in the first place.
So, what ARE the alternatives.
Well, via Apple iPhoto you can order some very lovely books; both softback, hardback and wirebound. But the hardback version compares with Ventures. Only instead of being £1,050 for 10 pictures... it's actually £20 for either ten pages of double or single printed paper. Please note that each page can in fact have anything from a one to sixteen pictures upon it. So that would be a saving of £1,030.
Now Apple don't do canvas prints; more is the pity. But Print on Canvas do. They offer various sizes and styles and their price range is between £25 for a 12" x 12" canvas print to £250 for a 60" x 60" print. Or does that sound more impressive as 5 foot by 5 foot. Either way, three by 29" x 29" would cost £285 from them (£95 each). So that's a saving of £2,615 pounds. So send it to them... and take a family holiday. Or better still. Take the holiday and send some of the snaps to them.
Another option is Photo Canvas Printing who offer some lovely little ones that look fantastic for baby pictures. Prices start at just £7.99.
So stuff Venture. Get a half decent camera (check out this site or this site for the best reviews) and take lots of pictures. Then do the rest yourself.
About three months ago I had some work done on my Saab at Stratstone Saab. It's one of those jobs that only a Saab dealer can do (a rather expensive £500 'glitch') but as part of my complementary Stratstone gift park (for presumably keeping the dealer open for that month) there came a little black envelope into which a free photo-session at Venture was included.
Now, right out of the gate I want to point out that I thought this was a complete scam. But despite all my best moaning and protestations 'the Mrs' took the kids anyway.
In less than an hour they had all returned, with 'the Mrs' showing a somewhat paler complexion than she left with.
Now Venture is a nation-wide chain of studios specialising in extracting large amounts of cash out of people with little or no sense. Sorry, but there it is. No I've always subscribed to the idea that stupid people and money were already showing unlikely signs of getting together in the first place. But there's a whole nation of people with iPhones to prove me wrong. Just to digress... it's a 2 MP camera phone that can't take video and you can't install 3rd apps (yet) onto; it costs a fortune to buy and the monthly tariffs are ridiculous (in the UK)... sounds perfect. Perhaps version 2, due in June, might be better. In the first instance, thanks stupid people for paying the way for a better phone.
Back to Venture. Now. After your complimentary 30 minute session you are gifted a free photograph. As in single. I presume it is protected in some way to stop duplication. Perhaps a Venture watermark or such. But should you wish a second 5" x 7" picture. It's yours for just £75 ($150). Not a misprint. SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS. For a 5x7 picture. Hell, even Kodak is cheaper. But the price range gets better and better 10x8 is £150 ($300).
Perhaps you might like something a bit more like a proper picture, framed. The VERY least you can pay is £325 ($650) for a 5x7 in a very cheap looking pine frame.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE PRICES!!!
Want to go the whole hog. They sell a composite picture, printed on canvas, made up of three 29" x 29" squares for... wait for it... hold breath. £2,900 ($5,800). Just short of THREE THOUSAND POUNDS!!! You could get a car for that! Nice little run around... Hell, you could probably get David Bailey for the piggin' day for that!
My particular favourite is the book of ten photo-book with 5"x4" pictures in it. Yours for the bargain price of £1,050 ($2,100). Or for another £100, why not 15 pictures.
WHAT A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RIP OFF!!!
Now quite aside from the fact that the quality could be questioned. Who the hell buys a picture like that. I mean it is beyond conspicuous consumption and enters into insanity. Like I say, the foolish and money were lucky to get together in the first place.
So, what ARE the alternatives.
Well, via Apple iPhoto you can order some very lovely books; both softback, hardback and wirebound. But the hardback version compares with Ventures. Only instead of being £1,050 for 10 pictures... it's actually £20 for either ten pages of double or single printed paper. Please note that each page can in fact have anything from a one to sixteen pictures upon it. So that would be a saving of £1,030.
Now Apple don't do canvas prints; more is the pity. But Print on Canvas do. They offer various sizes and styles and their price range is between £25 for a 12" x 12" canvas print to £250 for a 60" x 60" print. Or does that sound more impressive as 5 foot by 5 foot. Either way, three by 29" x 29" would cost £285 from them (£95 each). So that's a saving of £2,615 pounds. So send it to them... and take a family holiday. Or better still. Take the holiday and send some of the snaps to them.
Another option is Photo Canvas Printing who offer some lovely little ones that look fantastic for baby pictures. Prices start at just £7.99.
So stuff Venture. Get a half decent camera (check out this site or this site for the best reviews) and take lots of pictures. Then do the rest yourself.